I Don't own Seto Kaiba or Yugi Oh but if I did it'd be the best anime ever.

Chapter One -- Help

"They have been going out for 11 months so far. They look and seem happy together but I don't agree with it. I didn't agree with it when first they began dating and I don't agree with it now. I know it sounds selfish of me to want to keep my brother to myself but that women has got to go. I want him to be happy but she means the oppsite of it in my opinion. All the time whenever I'm with him she calls him on his cell phone. We never get to see each other anymore. It bothers me. So I've come to you for help to get rid of her. Please Yugi, will you help me?" Mokuba pleeded to Yugi.

"Sure I guess Mokuba. Maybe I'll even ask Yami to help although I don't he'll be of much use." He answered to his friend as they walked down the steps of the park.

"Thank you Yugi. I'm grateful. That (witch) needs to get out my house, out of my life and my brothers life." Mokuba said.

"Mokuba!" Yugi said.

"What?"

"I'm surprised by your language.Watch what you next time." Yugi said.

"Sure. But she really is one you know. It's ashame Seto can't see that."

"Yeah." The two boys lauhged.

Next Chapter is "The Plan"

Chapter Two -- The Plan (Part A)

"So what is it you want us to do Yugi?" Joey asked still not getting what he was told the first few 10 times.

"He wants us to join him and help Mokuba get rid of this chick Kaiba is dating you deaf moron!" Tea yelled. She was getting annoyed by his dumb act.

"Oh... Okay Yugi if it's to help you then I'll do it!" Joey said

"No. It's not for me. It's for Mokuba. He says that the girl has taken all the time that Kaiba has free. When he's not working and starts to spend time with Mokuba she just shoves in and ruin a brotherly moment between the two. You should of heard what Mokuba called her earlier." Yugi said

"I suppose it was something bad." Tristian said dumbly.

"No you jackass it was something good." Tea said sarcastically.

"Hey! He's not no jackass!" Joey yelled.

"Well if he's not one then your one!" Tea yelled back.

"Guys!Come on! I thought we were suppose to help out Mokuba and Yugi." Bakura said gently.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" Tea and Joey yelled.They quickly continued to agure and yell getting everyone miserable. And Yami who just sat there couldn't take it any more and shouted

"WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!YOUR FOOLISH ACTS ARE DRIVING ME MAD!" He yelled silencing everyone in the room.He cleared his thoart and said "Go ahead aibou. Their listening."

"O...........K............now as I was saying before we need to help Mokuba." Yugi continued.

"Wait a minute I have a question." Joey said.

"Yes Joey what is it?" Yugi asked with the slightest sound of annoyance in his voice.

"How did Kaiba score with a chick anyways? I mean he's not the most friendly type of guy there is ya' know." Joey continued.

"But he those have the qualities that every female likes in a guy. Such as he is good-looking, dresses sharp, good-looking, and has alot of cash." Mai said walking in the room drinking a Mcdonals soda.

"You went to Mcdonalds and couldn't buy any for us?" Tristian complained.

"Guys are we forgetting the subject?" Bakura said.But couldn't be heard because everyone was too busy talking to Mai about the famous junkfood reataurant she just came from.

"Why me?" Yugi said sighing.

And Yami who couldn't take the annoying chatter just walked out the room.

'Silly mortals.' he thought.

Will they ever settle down to discuss Yugi and Mokuba's situtation? Next Chapter "The Plan part B"

Chapter Three -- The Plan (Part B)

"Aibou what are you doing?" Yami questioned his light as Yugi made his way into the kitchen.

"Getting milk and cookies." Yugi answered.

"Why?" Yami asked.

"It may get them quiet enough so I can get a chance to explain."

"Yes maybe so.I didn't realize that they could be so... what's the word I'm looking for?"Yami wondered.

"Just say it.Stupid.You don't have to be nice."Yugi said.

"Yes I guess so.Now how do you plan to shut them up?" Yami asked

"Simple.Everyone likes milk and cookies.Give them enough and they'll have so much crumbs in their mouth they can't speak."

"Really?I would of never thought of that." Yami said

"Yeah.You would do something so much worse." Yugi joked.

The two laughed.With that Yugi returned to the group with the snack giving everyone and finally getting them quiet.How was his chance to speak.

"Now like I said before Mokuba says their next date is tomorrow.Their going to dinner.Anyone has any ideas how to ruin dinner?" Yugi asked.

"Maybe we can pretend to be workers in the restaurant and first make them sit in the center where everyone can see them then one of us acts as a waiter and 'accidentally' mess up their orders and then 'accidentally' spill it all on the little wench.It will be all over her outfit." Joey suggested.

"That's so cruel.She'd be humiliated.That's a greet idea!" Yugi cheered.

"Yeah.I know I'm brillant." Joey boasted.

"She'll be so angry and embrassed she'd flip.Maybe then Kaiba could see how she really is." Tea said

"Yugi,got anymore cookies?" Tristen asked.

"0_0' You had to be the one to change the subject." Tea said

"But... I want cookie!Cookie!Cookie!" Tristen protested.

"Oh....here's a cookie now shut up!" Mai said shoving the cookie in his mouth.

"Yeah!" Everyone cheered for Mai as she finally shut Tristen up.

"Any other ideas?" Yugi asked returning to the original subject.

"Maybe before they're leaving we can pick the lock on Kaiba's car open the door to the passenger seat and put some muck in it then she sits in it.She'll have spilled food on the front of her outfit and crap on her (arse)!" Tea suggested.

"I like.I like." Yugi compliented as he wrote down the idea.By the end of the day Yugi had a list of ideas.Later before bed Yugi called Mokuba and told him the ideas.

"So how do you like them?" Yugi asked Mokuba who was on the other line.

"It's pure brillance.And maybe I can butter up the restaurant owners with a few dollars to make it possible."

"Alright.So when do we put into action?"

"An hour before they get there.It will give us time to set up." Mokuba said.

"Cool! See you tomorrow." Yugi said

"Bye." Mokuba hung up.

"You know that this isn't right." Yami said.

"I know... but from what he told me she is a real nightmare.She had it coming to her.He says she a monster when she's alone with him. And when around Kaiba an angel." Yugi continued.

"You'll feel bad about after you've done it.I know you all too well." Yami continued.

"Why do you care?"Yugi asked.

"Because you are my own.Your guilt is my guilt." Yami said turning to his side of the bed, covering with the sheet.Yugi looked st his other self.'

Why is this bothering me know? Could what he said be right? Oh...I'll sleep on it.' Yugi thought.With that Yugi turned of the lamp light,coverd himself in the sheet and drifted to sleep.

Next is "Enter Caress" "*******************************************************************************************************

"Enter Caress"

Late that same night that Yugi called .......

Mokuba a top the staircase of the huge Kaiba mansion was watching to see if his brother would soon come in. The door slowly opened to show Seto stading in the doorway.Mokuba's face lit up as Seto walked in but soon turned to a frown to see HER.Caress Monteral was her name. A seductive horny son of a gun if you ask me.Around Seo a soft spoken,cheery angel.Around Mokuba with Seto's attendance a cool big sis.Around Mokuba with out Seto like a devilish witch if not one already.

"Seto I had the best time tonight." she said smiling while twirling her fingers in her blonde hair, blinking her green eyes.Her body was great.She had the shape of an hour glass and prefect sized breast.Her hair to her shoulders and her slender legs silky.She was not too short nor too tall.She was wearing a jeans skirt that was way too short for her and a red tank top that said 'Hot Chick' with a jeans jacket over it along with and pair of red spaghetti strap sandals.

"Really?I'm glad you enjoyed it." Seto said lovingly as he wrapped his arms around her waistand kissed her.

"Mmmmm..." She moaned in between kisses.

'Yuck.Ewwwwww.'Mokuba thought.He'd never seen Seto so mushy.

"The two began to walk up the stairs hand in hand."Mokuba why aren't you in bed?" Seto asked.

"Yes Mokuba why aren't you sleeping?" Caress asked annoyingly.Mokuba gave her a glare and was about to yell 'shut up you cock sucking fiend.' but remembered his brother was present so bit his lip.

"Are you going to answer?" Seto asked impatiently.

"Uh...I was worried about you onii." Mokuba answered sweetly.

"Oh...it's fine.Now bed.Come on get going."

"Tuck me in brother?" Mokuba asked him politely.

"Sure." Seto picked his younger brother and walked to his room.

"Little brat." Caress mumbled under her breath as she followed them into Mokuba's room.

"Night Onii." Mokuba said pleasantly close to falling asleep.

"Night young one." Seto said as he kissed Mokuba's forehead and then backed but from the bed.He grabbed Caress' hand and pulled her out the room.

"Now that he's gone to bed we can do a few notty things." Caress said seductively.

"No not tonight," Seto yarned "I'm tired." He walked to his room.

"But when you're in the mood I'm willing to do it." She whined.She then pouted.

"You sound so cute when you complain." Seto said as he turned the knob of the door to his room.

"Can we at least play a little bit?" She walked up behind him making puppy dog eyes.

"Okay," he said pulling her close until there was no space between them." but just a little." he whispered into her ear.

"Thank you." she said as a huge smile formed on her face.Then Seto lead her into the dark bed room.Mokuba watched as he had poked his head out of his room.

"I have it all planned for you devil woman.I have it all planned." Mokuba said and smiled as he closed the bedroom door and went tro sleep. Next Chapter-"The Plan Takes Action"

Chapter Four -- The Plan Takes Action (Part A)

Caress rolled over in he bed.It was about 9:30am. Since it was Saturday she enjoyed just laying in bed.She would of stayed there longer if only Seto was next to her. She enjoyed him but could not stand the fact that he was and early waker. She got out of bed and quicky grabbed Seto's robe to cover her naked body.She walked to the bathroom humming a happy tune.

"Another night of love making,one more step to becoming Mrs.Seto Kaiba and closer to his company's money.Oh how I love my badness." She said while looking in the mirror admiring her own beauty.Her plan from day one was to marry Seto and take him for all his was worthy of.She knew softening his heart would not be easy and that's why she has been with him for so long.And 11 months is a long time.

Caress walked out the bathroom after washing up. She looked at the floor.Her clothes and Seto's were all over the place. Her skirt was on the floor next to the night table and one of her shoes were under the bed.

"We were really in dept last night with each other weren't we?" Seto said walking in the room already fully dressed.

"Yeah I guess.Is breakfast ready?" She said while twirling her finger in her blonde hair. A bad habbit she had.

"Yes so I suggest you come down to eat before it get's cold.Oh and put some clothes on." Seto said while slowly pulling her close.

"I can't get ready if you are trying to play with me.So maybe you should loosen your grip around my waist line." Caress told him.

"Fine.I'm downstairs if you need me." Seto said letting go and turning to leave.

'I am so good.'She thought

"Morning Seto ." Mokuba said cheerfully while walking into the kitchen.

"Morning kid." Seto said while sipping his cup of coffee and reading his newspaper.

Mokuba sat down next to his brother at the table and the maid put a bowl of Corn Flakes ceral in front of him.

"Isn't the witch--- I mean isn't Caress coming down stairs for breakfast?" Mokuba asked his brother only to remember that talking like that in front of him wouldn't be the right thing to do.

"I don't know." Seto said taking another sip.

"Oh.I'm going to park to meet Yugi and the gang after breakfast.Is that okay with you?" Mokuba asked.

"Sure. Just don't come home late.The maid worries when you do.Also I'm not gonig to be here when you come,I'm -"

"Going out with Caress again?I know you told me already.Since you and her got more serious we don't spend any time together." Mokuba said cutting him off.

"You know if I was free I'd spend time with you." Seto replied and looked down at his brother.

"You are free but when you are free you spend that time with with her!" Mokuba yelled.

"Hey listen Mokuba I'm -" Seto tried to say speak but was cut off by his brother.

"I gotta go meet Yugi and the others.See you later Kaiba." Mokuba said. He'd only call his brother Kaiba when he was angry at him and that was very very very rarely.

Mokuba walked out the kitchen angry.

"What's his deal?Did he wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?" Caress asked while entering the kitchen seeing Mokuba leave.

"I guess I did something wrong." Seto said bowing his head feeling guilty. He rarely ever felt guilty.

"Oh... It's okay sweet stuff I'm sure he'll get over it." She said almost sounding as if she cared.(The keyword in that sentence is almost.)

Mokuba sat on the bench in the park kicking his feet and mumbling things he should not be saying or even thinking of.

"Mokuba what'd I say about that kind of language?" Yugi said from behind.

"Oh.. hey Yugi." Mokuba said sadly.

"What's the matter?" Yugi asked and walked around to see Mokuba's face.

"Yeah you looked depressed." Bakura said.

"It's okay Mokuba." Tea said sitting next to him and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I yelled at Seto this morning and I never yell at him.I feel bad." Mokuba said

"It's all right Mokuba siblings agrue sometimes. Even me and Yami argue." Yugi said tying to make him feel better.

"You do?" Mokuba said looking up.

"Yeah." Yugi replied.

"Really? But Yugi you barely argue with anyone." Everyone said suprised.

"I know but sometimes his serious attitude gets me mad and I just feel to yell." Yugi said

"I don't blame you. Yami is overly up tight." Joey said.

"You mean really really overly up tight." Tristen said

"You mean really really really REALLY overly up tight." Bakura continued

"Get back to the oringinal subject you idiot's! Why do guys always have to change the subject?!" Mai yelled at the boys.

"Sorry." They all said together. Yugi and Tea only sweatdropped.

"Okay I'll cheer up. Now how do we go about putting this plan into action?" Mokuba asked.

Next Chapter is "The Plan Takes Action (Part B)"

Chapter Five -- The Plan Takes Action (Part B)

It was 15 minutes to 8 o'clock. Everyone was there and ready.To no surprise the restaurant owner let Yugi and the gang go about their plan thanks to a few dollars given to them by Mokuba. And everything was going well. Joey and Tea acted as the waiters and waitress. Tristan ( I finally learned how to spell his name right thanks to my friend) acted as the host ( you know the guy that seats you) and Mai and Bakura tried to act as a pair of rude customers sitting near. Or really Bakura tried to act rude. Mai did it just fine being that she was already good at it as it is.

Anyways...when Seto and his 'girlfriend' arrived at the restaurant surprisingly Seto didn't suspect a single thing. At all. He didn't suspect that Tristan looked goofy with a fake mustsash or that Mai and Bakura were sitting at the table near them or that Joey and Tea were wearing stupid wigs. Nope. Not the slightest thing.

"Your table sir." Tristan said in a snotty and fake french acent.

"Thank you." Seto said gratefully as he seated his date then himself.

"The waiteress and waiter shall be here in a quick moment lady and sir." Tristan continued still not letting Seto be aware of his true identity.

"Again, thank you." Seto said. Tristan walked away smiling and then taking out a small microphone from his pocket.

"Blonde Falcon the victims are seated. I repeat the victims are seated." He said whispering into the microphone.

"Got it! And who the hell is Blonde Falcon?" Joey said repling back into his mic.

While this was going on Seto and Caress began their own personal conversation.

"Oh forget it!" Tristan said back.With that he gave Mai and Bakura the signal and they began to talk

"EEW! OH MY GOSH! THIS FOOD TASTES LIKE CRAP! WAITER!" Mai called annoyingly.

"Yes miss?" Joey said walking over to the table Mai was at.

"Waiter, this food is garbage! I ordered a soup and you gave me a well done steak! What is wrong wtih you!? I told I was allergic to red meat! What are you people doing trying to kill me!? I will sue! Sue every last one of you waiters and waiteresses and I will also sue the chef's and the manger and the owner of the restaurant! I will have this place closed down if I don't get some proper services!" Mai yelled causing everone to stare at her including Seto and Caress.

"Yes miss sorry for the uh... inconvice. I'll fix it right away." Joey said in his best french accent and walked away.

"Shesh. She has much issues to work out." Caress said while twirling her finger in her hair.

"Yeah and she sounds and looks quite familiar.But maybe I'm just seeing things. Anyways... this evening I brought you here to discuss us and well---"

"Good day. I am your waiteress... Uh... Tonya. I will be sereving you this a lovely eve. So now that introductions are completed shall I take your orders?" Tea said trying her best to cover up her voice.

"Umm..." Caress said trying to order something to eat but had a difficulty because the menu was in French.

"I'll take care of it." Seto said. He ordered the most expensive things on the menu and the cheapest thing happen to a bottle of water which was $8.99( I know $8.99 is a dumb price for a bottle of water but

I went to a restaurant where the water was 4.00 dollars so it's okay to lie a little bit. I mean the story is fictional.)

"Uh... Wee Wee sir( that's french for yes.) I'll have your orders in a second. With that Tea walked away into the kitchen.

"Okay, Kaiba and his chick want 2 extra large medium done steaks as a main course and for an appetizer they want a lite salad. But misses doesn't want ranch on her salad. So how about we put it all over her salad? And for desert they want ice-cream any flavor except strawberry. She is allergic.So how 'bout we give her just that? Then When I'm going back to give them their meals I'll spill it all over her." Tea said with a grin on her face.

Then Joey walked in the kitchen.

"Damn Mai can yell loudly.My ears are ringing." Joey said rubbing his ears.

"It's time to devlier the orders and here they are." Mokuba said putting the dish on a tray and handing it to Joey.

"K! I'm gonna go back to Mai and Bakura with these meals." He walked out the kitchen holding the tray as if was more clumsy than he really is.

"Here you go Tea.The dinners to end all dinners for Seto and that witch!" He said as he handed the meal on the tray to Tea.

"Right!" She picked it up and left the kitchen.

Meanwhile outside...

"Yami just pick the lock!" Yugi pleeded to Yami who refused.

"No! Why must I do it!?I don't even know why I'm here." Yami said.

"You are here because you are my Yami and I want you to do this." Yugi told him

"No! I won't do it!" Yami

"DO IT NOW OR I'LL BREAK THE MILLENIUM PUZZLE AND YOUR EXSISTANCE WILL BE NO MORE!" Yugi shouted.

"I_I ! Fine.I'll do. Just stop shouting in my ear."

"Okay. I'm sorry. Now hurry up and get this over with." Yugi said.

Yami picked the lock on the door of Seto's car and he did it quickly and very well. As if he were an expert. Yugi then dumped a heap of garbage ,from the restaurants dumpser, in the passenger seat of the car. They quickly closed the door and ran out the parking lot. So not to be noticed.

"Hey Yami." Yugi called while walking side by side with his dark.

"Yes aibou?" Yami answered.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I don't know why but I did and I feel horrible.Can you forgive me? I really didn't mean it. You know... when I said I'd break the Millenium Puzzle. I didn't mean any of it. At all..." Yugi trailed off.

"It's alright. I'm sorry also. I was being disobident and I'm not suppose to being that you are my better half." Yami told him.

"So I guess we are even." Yugi said.

"Yeah. Guess so. But now let's get home. I don't want to leave the others but we stink. I really need a cool shower." Yami said.

"Yup!" Yugi said and the two teens walked down the road making their way home.

Back In The restaurant...

"Where is the waiteress? We have been waiting for a while." Caress complained and then pouted. "And I'm really hungry!" She continued to whine.

"Listen I wanted to talk to you about something angel."Seto said with the uttermost care in his voice.

"Yes?" She replied almost sounding as if she cared.(Keyword is almost)

"I'm... well..." It was so disgusting the way he sounded. I mean have you ever heard Seto Kaiba talk gently and caringly to anyone but his Sibling? It was horrible. And overly mushy. Good thing Tea walked over ti disrupt.

"Here is your order. Whoops!" She yelled pretending to trip and dropped the food all over Caress' white skirt and Navy blue top.

"UH!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU! YOU... YOU..." Caress began to scream only to have hot soup spilled by Joey in her hair."AHHHHHH! She screamed.

"Here how about some strawberry ice-cream?" Mai said as she shoved it Caress' face.

"OHHHHHHHH! YOU SON OF A GUN! YOU CLUMSY OAF'S!YOU ALL HAVE NERVE!" Caress screamed until her thoart hurt.

"Angel...are you alright?" Seto asked in deep care. (Eew how I hate to hear him sound pityful)

"OKAY!? DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU SETO KAIBA! I DON"T THINK SO!" She yelled.

"I'm sorry. Wrong thing to ask. Come let me bring you home." He said leading her out side. "This place is horrible.I will make sure to have it closed down for such low service."

With that Seto walked out with Caress.

"Yes! This is going well. Tea you go get Mokuba from the back. The rest of us will follow them outside." Joey told her.

"Yeah!" With that she ran to the kitchen and quickly hurried Mokuba to the parking lot.

"I'm so sorry for the problems this evening. I'll make it up to you." Seto said feeling guilt for what just happened.

"Whatever just take me home." She complained.

"HA! GOT YOU! THE MONSTER HAS BEEN AMBUSHED!" Mokuba shouted and then laughed. Along with everone else.

"YOU! OH!!I KNEW YOU DID THIS! I KNEW! I COULD SEE THAT LOOK IN YOUR DEVELISH EYES FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU! I HATE YOU! OH HOW I HATE YOU! NO CHANCE TO GET TO YOUR BROTHER'S MONEY IS WORTH THIS! NONE! I DON'T CARE IF HE IS GOOD IN BED AND IS LOADED WITH CASH AND CAN BE SUCH A SAP IT'S NOT WORTH ANY OF THIS! I WISH YOU'D BURN IN HELL!" Caress screamed until her lungs felt to explode.

Seto was speechless.

"Take me home." Caress said and sat down in the car seat that was filled with garbage.

"UHH!" She yelled some more.She got out the car and yelled "ALL OF YOU! SCREW ALL OF YOU!" She walked away with spolied food on her bum and hot food on her front.

Everyone turned their eyes to Kaiba.

"What's everyone looking at?" He asked.

"You mean you're not mad Seto?" Mokuba asked

"No.I was actually going to break up with her. I just wanted to do it gently.I knew she only wanted me for my money.The maid told me that she over heard her conversation on the phone one day and I planned this out from early this week. Just not the way you had it planned." Seto explained.

"Ohhh." Everyone said.

"Let me give you all a ride home." Seto offered. With that they all went home. Mokuba called Yugi later that night and told him what happened. And after that they never ever saw Caress again. And for that Mokuba was grateful. He enjoyed the time he got to spend with his brother once more.And everyone went back to normal. Seto was no longer mushy but same old Seto( Oh joy ^_^ !) and life was restored. But......

5 months later...

A young teen girl sat down in the park. She had red hair up to her rear end,light crimson eyes that were pinkish. She wore a red shirt and a white pants along with red sandals.

She was beautiful. Much more lady like and better shaped than Caress was. She was reading a book when Yugi and Joey walked pass.

"Hey! Check it out! Babe radar in full action!" Joey hollered.

"Joey I don't think you should check out other girls while dating Mai." Yugi suggested.

"I know. I know but wha'd ya' say we check her out for Kaiba, eh? I mean Mokuba says that even though he don't think his brother should be with babes now he never said we couldn't find him the perfect chick."

"Joey...we shouldn't... I mean..." Yugi tried to speak

"Come on Yugi. Don't you think she's way hot?" Joey asked.

"I don't know...I guess." Yugi contiued.

"Okay." Joey said. He walked over and said "Hello miss. My name is Joey and this is my friend Yugi. If you don't mind I'd like to know your name, age and if you were single."

"My name is Dana Marie Capon.Yes I'm single. I would tell you my age but then again you know women keep it secretive,but you can gues I'm in my teen years.Now,Joey if I may ask you a question why are you disrupting me in the middle of my book to find out my personal stats?" The girl asked in a mature and sophisticated voice.

"Well we have a friend,Seto Kaiba, and we were wondering if ... well..." Yugi said trailing off again

"If you could hook him up with a gorgeous girl out of no where?" She continued.

"Well yeah." Joey answered

"Fine. Here is my phone number. Tell your friend he can call me between 3am and 11pm. He could call me before but he's probably not going to get me because I work frequently.I'm off Saturday and Sunday. Now if you don't mind I must be going. Good day to you gentlemen." The girl said and walked off with her hair flaring in the summer sun.

"Joey what just happened?" Yugi asked still not quite sure of what was going on.

"I don't know, but Kaiba is going to be way surprised when we tell him that got him a chick as high classed and hard working as he is." Joey answered.

"Don't forget really really really really good looking." Yugi continued.

"Yeah." Joey said. The two teens laughed and walked away.

End. Next Story "Match Makers"